Well things aren't getting any better on here. Today we started our SARC (Safety and Readiness Check) down in Plymouth. After the staff navigator came on it has been decided that I am to conduct the pilotage out and pilotex on Thursday when we sail. Although the charts are all drawn up I still need to find time to tweak them slightly and draw up my notebook. Normally this would be fine but during SARC there is no time during the working day due to exercises and briefs. On top of this I have all my Ops stuff to do. Anyway after a twelve hour day today I have decided to say sod it and have a few cans of cider. Up at 0500 tomorrow to try and get the work cracked and hopefully get ahead of the game. Maybe it is time to start looking seriously for another job but I just can't afford to take a pay cut. There are bits of the RFA I enjoy but is all the crap really worth it. I am only 45 miles from home and I can't even get home to see Debbie and Elizabeth.
I think I need to have a long hard think about what I want to do over the next few weeks. I have applied for yet another shore post with the RFA and I think if I could get that I would be happy as I just need a break from the NAV/OPS role after eight years of doing the same thing. In that time I have done two trips as purely Ops and they have probably been the most enjoyable of my whole career. However now just trying t get a singleton Ops posting seems impossible.
If I do go commercial eventually I think I will try and join the RNR as I am sure 18 years in the RFA will count for something. I have lots of valuable experience but at the moment I feel under appreciated.
Monday, 30 March 2009
Thursday, 26 March 2009
WORK AND APPLE JUICE
It has been a couple of days since I last wrote my blog. Little has happened other than lots of work. I can't understand why I get up at 0600 and work through to 1900 when everyone else seems to knock of early. Am I crap at my job or just conscientious, I really wish I knew. There just seems to be a never ending pile of work and now according to the old man I have functional authority of Navigation on top of everything else as the Navs on here is not FNO qualified. I almost rang Clyde marine this morning after he told me but I didn't. Another year or so and I get the long service medal. If I could only get a shore appointment for a couple of years I could recharge my batteries.
I suppose I shouldn't moan, at least I have a secure job with a good pension and a loving family. There is just so much I wish we could do but we just haven't the money. I would love to buy some land and build an eco friendly house. Although it would have to have opening windows as I believe you can never get enough fresh air. I would love to be able to buy a wood, well I like trees, probably because I was a tree in a school play thirty years ago. I want to be able to send little Elizabeth to private school so she can have the best start in life as the state school system is unreliable. Finally I want to buy another landrover, I should never have sold Flakey but I think a Disco would be nice if I could ever afford it.
Anyway enough of my dreams, it has been a long day but at least we have apple juice onboard. I have been good the last few nights and not had any but I have fallen off the wagon tonight. I think I will drink up though and go and watch a bit of TV as I will be up early tomorrow.
I suppose I shouldn't moan, at least I have a secure job with a good pension and a loving family. There is just so much I wish we could do but we just haven't the money. I would love to buy some land and build an eco friendly house. Although it would have to have opening windows as I believe you can never get enough fresh air. I would love to be able to buy a wood, well I like trees, probably because I was a tree in a school play thirty years ago. I want to be able to send little Elizabeth to private school so she can have the best start in life as the state school system is unreliable. Finally I want to buy another landrover, I should never have sold Flakey but I think a Disco would be nice if I could ever afford it.
Anyway enough of my dreams, it has been a long day but at least we have apple juice onboard. I have been good the last few nights and not had any but I have fallen off the wagon tonight. I think I will drink up though and go and watch a bit of TV as I will be up early tomorrow.
Monday, 23 March 2009
BELIEF
We have now arrived at our next port after a short two day voyage. Other than a foggy start to the voyage it was pleasant weather. There was little wind so the sea was calm and peaceful. I always find there is something almost mystical about the sea and I find it relaxing.
After arrival Debbie and Elizabeth came down to sea me. It was Elizabeth's first time on a ship and as always she was full of smiles. She kept giggling as well which was really nice. I do find it hard adjusting to being back at sea as I really miss Debbie and Beth. We are hoping to get the little one christened onboard in May once the ship has done OST. Hopefully the programme won't change to much as it would be really nice to have Beth christened on a ship that both Debbie and I have served on.
Well I have been feeling a bit low today but I now think that someone is watching over me. Of late I have felt there is no light at the end of the tunnel and I have felt spiritually drained. However earlier today the Second mate approached me and asked if I was in the NCF (Naval Christian Fellowship). We then started talking and it looks as if he is going to try and organise an Alpha course onboard. Hopefully it will all work out and there will be some interest onboard. It has made me think that it was him upstairs trying to tell me not to loose hope even though the past few years have been hard.
Something I heard today also made me think. I was listening to a 'Nightmare before Christmas' and part of the lyrics were "Just because I can't see it, doesn't mean I can't believe it." I really think I have been told today, don't give up I am watching. I just really hope it is a sign that things will get better this year. My beliefs have taken a little leap of hope today I just need to have some faith.
After arrival Debbie and Elizabeth came down to sea me. It was Elizabeth's first time on a ship and as always she was full of smiles. She kept giggling as well which was really nice. I do find it hard adjusting to being back at sea as I really miss Debbie and Beth. We are hoping to get the little one christened onboard in May once the ship has done OST. Hopefully the programme won't change to much as it would be really nice to have Beth christened on a ship that both Debbie and I have served on.
Well I have been feeling a bit low today but I now think that someone is watching over me. Of late I have felt there is no light at the end of the tunnel and I have felt spiritually drained. However earlier today the Second mate approached me and asked if I was in the NCF (Naval Christian Fellowship). We then started talking and it looks as if he is going to try and organise an Alpha course onboard. Hopefully it will all work out and there will be some interest onboard. It has made me think that it was him upstairs trying to tell me not to loose hope even though the past few years have been hard.
Something I heard today also made me think. I was listening to a 'Nightmare before Christmas' and part of the lyrics were "Just because I can't see it, doesn't mean I can't believe it." I really think I have been told today, don't give up I am watching. I just really hope it is a sign that things will get better this year. My beliefs have taken a little leap of hope today I just need to have some faith.
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
JOINING BLUES
Well I am now back at sea, I have joined an old ship but they have recently changed the whole interior. The old bar that looked like the front room of a country pub has been replaced by a bar that wouldn't look out of place in an airport lounge. To be fair they have done a resonable job on the cabins and have thankfully avoided metal furniture infavour of wood.
The first few days onboard are always hard, this time espeacially so as I am really missing Debbie and our little Elizabeth. It doesn't help that the programme this trip will be horrible with FOST onboard for about half of it. As for my role onboard, well thankfully I am Ops but due to the usual screw ups I am sort of covering the Navigator as well. I have an N2 who will do all the navigation but I still have the responsibility for it. As for my handover it was okay but there are lots of things that I will be changing to make things run better.
I think the only plus side for this trip is that I will be around the UK coast, so it should give me the chance to see my two ladies. If I am lucky I may even get a 72 so that I spend time with Debbie and Elizabeth, and mybe even mow the grass and take the little boy for a walk. I may even manage to get a pint of rattler down the Green Dragon.
The first few days onboard are always hard, this time espeacially so as I am really missing Debbie and our little Elizabeth. It doesn't help that the programme this trip will be horrible with FOST onboard for about half of it. As for my role onboard, well thankfully I am Ops but due to the usual screw ups I am sort of covering the Navigator as well. I have an N2 who will do all the navigation but I still have the responsibility for it. As for my handover it was okay but there are lots of things that I will be changing to make things run better.
I think the only plus side for this trip is that I will be around the UK coast, so it should give me the chance to see my two ladies. If I am lucky I may even get a 72 so that I spend time with Debbie and Elizabeth, and mybe even mow the grass and take the little boy for a walk. I may even manage to get a pint of rattler down the Green Dragon.
Monday, 9 March 2009
BREAD
I find that it is very hard to relax, I don't know if this is just the way I am or if it is the world we live in. There are so many distractions around us in our everyday lives and so many things to worry about. So little of life is simple and straight forward, and I think this gets worse as one gets older. What with bills and mortgages to worry about. More importantly what sort of future world is our little girl going to grow up in.
With all this going through my head it is very hard to sit down and just feel mellow, there is always something playing on my mind. So how can one relax, well I love reading and when I do manage to read I can get really immersed in a book and forget about the outside world for a few minutes. The only problem with this, is that I find it very hard to sit down and read at home as I am always getting distracted and quite often I seem to dose of when I do read. I don't think it helps by what I choose to read as I try to expand my mind with my choice of books now, unlike a few years ago when I was a regular visitor to Ankmorpork. Mind you Terry Pratchet did, at times, come out with some very profound thoughts on life in general.
Well what has all this to do with bread, it is simple really, baking bread is relaxing. It is not just the wonderful smell of the yeast starting to work or that wonderful aroma of freshly baked bread. It is just the whole process demands patience. To make really good bread you need one of life's most treasured ingredients, time. Unless you are willing to put this into the process the bread will be no good. Plenty of time is needed not only for the dough to rise but in the needing process. I think it is this part of the whole process that I enjoy the most and when I find it easiest to relax.
With all this going through my head it is very hard to sit down and just feel mellow, there is always something playing on my mind. So how can one relax, well I love reading and when I do manage to read I can get really immersed in a book and forget about the outside world for a few minutes. The only problem with this, is that I find it very hard to sit down and read at home as I am always getting distracted and quite often I seem to dose of when I do read. I don't think it helps by what I choose to read as I try to expand my mind with my choice of books now, unlike a few years ago when I was a regular visitor to Ankmorpork. Mind you Terry Pratchet did, at times, come out with some very profound thoughts on life in general.
Well what has all this to do with bread, it is simple really, baking bread is relaxing. It is not just the wonderful smell of the yeast starting to work or that wonderful aroma of freshly baked bread. It is just the whole process demands patience. To make really good bread you need one of life's most treasured ingredients, time. Unless you are willing to put this into the process the bread will be no good. Plenty of time is needed not only for the dough to rise but in the needing process. I think it is this part of the whole process that I enjoy the most and when I find it easiest to relax.
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