Sleepless Nights

It has almost been three weeks since the stork arrived and left the little man. He is certainly keeping us on our toes and is still waking up every couple of hours for a feed. Needless to say we are not getting much sleep, but it will all be worth it in the end. He really does look like his sister and he has got to the stage of pulling scary faces.

He also seems to have a sixth sense, every time I manage to sit down with a cup of coffee and a good book he demands attention with the effect that my coffee goes cold and I only seem to be able to read a paragraph a day. I suppose the solution would be to either invest in some ear plugs so that I can enjoy my coffee in peace and quiet. Alternatively I suppose I could switch my morning tibble to cider as then I won't have to worry about it going cold.

I still can't believe how small the little man is and how light he is compared to his sister. It really is amazing how quickly they grow in 14 months.

Thankfully Beth has taken to having a brother really well, and although she was unsettled for the first few days she has soon slipped back into her normal routine. It is just Debbie and I thinking two is much harder than one. At least having two has cut down our shopping bills. Well the logistics of getting both out the house to the shops is somewhat daunting and by the time we have the change bags, pushchair, and babies in the car there is actually very little space left to put any shopping.

New Arrivals

It has been over a month since I last wrote and a lot has happened. My weight loss has been going well, I am now down to 16-11 after starting at 18-9 when I first came home, I still want to get below 16 before Christmas so I had better get a move on.

Debbie found the last month of her pregnancy very hard and I did my best to make her as comfortable as possible. The end however all came very quickly. We had called the mid wife on Monday as Debbie was in a lot of pain and we though that the contractions had started but when they cam out they didn't think she was in labour so they told us to stay at home. The next day they rang us and as Debbie was still uncomfortable we went up to the hospital. After a few hours the Doctor's came around and decided to keep Debbie in over night due to the pain but said that there was no sign of labour starting. Anyway I went home that night to look after little Beth before going back the next day. Events however overtook us and at 0530 the hospital rang to say Debbie was in labour. I got little one up and rushed to the hospital (via the in laws to drop Beth off) making really good time as I was there by 0640 but alas I was to late, little William had arrived. He was in that much of a rush they didn't even have time to get Debbie down to the labour ward as he arrived a 0550. Poor Debbie didn't even manage to get any drugs to ease the pain.

Autumn

Autumn is now well and truly with us, the last six weeks or so have been very pleasant here in North Devon but the wind and rain have finally found us. Saying that I am still wondering around in my shorts and Tshirts refusing to let go of that summer feeling.

I do like Autumn though because as the nights draw in you start to get the smell of the wood burners drifting around the village which is very warming on the wet and windy walk to the pub. It is the colours that I like the most though. The golden yellow browns of the trees, the colours don't last long I know but they are wonderful. I especially like the changes down the Tarka trail as the colours seem to last a bit longer down there. I think the trees are a little more sheltered so the winds don't blow all the leaves off.

The longer I live here in North Devon the more I appreciate the beauty of the changing seasons and the effects it has on the wonderful landscape that surrounds us.

New Shoes

We had a trip out to Plymouth and civilisation (if you can call it that) yesterday. The weather was pretty grey but at least it stayed dry. The purpose of the visit was to get Beth's feet measured and her first pair of proper shoes. I know there is a Clarks in Barnstable but we just fancied a trip out. Well we had lunch out, we were going cheep so we tried the Buffet Garden Chinese. It was definatley cheep with all you can eat at £6 / per head. The food was OK but I prefer the Water Moon at the other end of town. Lunch done with and three glasses of apple juice later we went off to Clarks. I had to make a detour to the public loos ( I really hate public loos, but when needs must). Anyway fitting complete we got Beth a lovely pair of Black patent leather shoes with flashing lights.

The trip out did my diet no good but hey ho, you only live once. To try and put matters right I am trying not to have dinner tonight. I hate this diet thing as I feel constantly hungry, but I am determined to loose another 27lbs by Christmas and break the 16 Stone point. I have been down the pool today. 30 minutes in the Sauna (to sweat the chinese off me) and 60 lengths of the pool for a bit of light relief. Hopefully the weather will be better next week and I can get my bike out again, Brenin should hopefully be up to another long run by then although I am taking him down the Tarka trail tomorrow for a gentle walk to try and break him in a bit more.

October Already?

Where has the last month gone? I really can't believe I have been home a month already and I don't feel my feet have touched the ground yet. September was a good month and I managed to get a few things done. The hedge along the Devon bank is slowly getting thinner and the hedge down the other border has mostly gone now. I have started decluttering the loft but there is still a lot to do and the floor panels will have to wait until next month. Beth's new room is painted, although I will have to paint it again as Debbie and her mum don't like the colours. Mind you most of the work in there has been done now so it shouldn't take to long to repaint.

My fitness regime is starting to pay off. I have lost almost a stone since I have been home, only another two to go until I get to my target. If I can stick with a stone a month I should be doing well I think. It has been hard at times as I always seem to feel hungry but it will be worth it in the end.

Since I last wrote on my blog very little has happened although I did take Brenin (our border collie) for a really long walk down the tarka trail. I took my bike and cycled almost to Bideford and back with him trotting alongside me. He was really well behaved and thoroughly enjoyed it but was knackered by the end of it. We will go again soon but I think I will go towards Meeth as it is uphill to start with so he should find it easier.

Well not long now until number two arrives, Debbie is due to give birth in November and know she can't wait for it all to be over. I just wonder what it will be, a boy or a girl. As long as it is healthy I don't really care.

Cycling, Swimming and Chocolate Cola Cake

Since I last wrote my blog, sitting at the dreaded car boot things have been busy. The car boot went OK, I made about £35 which paid for some shopping and a few beers and the pub quiz. Well at least I can avoid the car boot for a couple of weeks. Anyway Since my last entry I have sort of finished Beth's new room. It is very pink as you will have seen from the picture I posted on Facebook. I really don't like pink but I hate to admit I am quite happy with the colour scheme. It is very girly but she is my little princess and if she doesn't like it then I will repaint it. As she is only 1 it will be a while before she has a big enough vocabulary to say 'Daddy, I don't like my room can you paint it bright green please.'



I still have some work to do, the ceiling needs repainting, as do the skirting boards, but it will do for now. Next big job inside is to sort out the loft. I have already made one trip to the tip with a load of junk but I think I will have a few more. Once I get paid I will buy a few floor boards to help with the storage space and really start going through all the junk. Unfortunately I am a bit of a hoarder and don't like throwing things away but this will have to change.



Outside things are coming along very slowly indeed. I did get out and do some weeding out the front today, however I always feel it is a drop in the ocean. After a three month leave I finally start to get on top of things but it only takes a few weeks of neglect and we are back to square one. I think I am going to have to bite the bullet and try to find a cheep gardener to come in a couple of hours a week. I might actually be able to enjoy the garden then and crack on with some of my plans for it rather than just constantly battle the weeds. Talking of weeds I am going to have to do battle with the Devon bank once more. So Far I have chopped about 25% of it back. I had a huge bonfire to get rid of the stuff, otherwise I would have had about fifteen or more trips to the tip. Unfortunatley one of my neighbours had a moan about the fire so I will have to look at getting rid of the cuttings another way. The recycle van comes next Wednesday so I think if I get out there Monday and Tuesday I can make a huge pile of cuttings by the front gate and then the recycle men will take it.

My fitness regime is going OK. I have made a conscious effort to do some form of exercise each day. This is paying off as the weight is continuing to drop, if slowly. I have now lost 9lbs since coming home which is good, I just have to keep it up. If I could loose two or three pounds per week for the next few months I would be really happy.

I actually managed to go for a bike ride yesterday, although I started wishing I had moved to Norfolk and not North Devon. There are too many hills here and although they are wonderful to look at they are horrid to cycle up. As I live on top of a hill (a future investment. When the ice caps melt I will have a beach front property) whenever I go for a bike ride the first bit is great, well it's down hill and as long as I remember to wear glasses it is great fun. I forgot yesterday and every few seconds as I sped down the hill I was blinded by bugs flying into my eyes. On a good day it will take me about 5 minutes to cycle down to the tarka trail and about 35 minutes to walk back. However I have found a new route which isn't to bad. The first quarter is down hill, then it is a slug all the way back up to Stibb with the final quarter being down hill. My next challenge will be to find a way of getting Brenin and the bike down to the Tarka Trail (well it is flat with a Pub after 5 miles) and teaching him to walk/run nicely by the bike as I cycle. The only problem being is I need to get a roof rack and they are quite pricey.

So that's the cycling covered. Now to witter on about swimming. We are quite lucky, (or unlucky as Diamond/sunterra are thieving B*%!ards.) We are a 10min drive (20 min Cycle) from a place call Woodford Bridge which is a holiday complex. As we are members of the Holiday club we get to use the facilities which include gym, squash court and swimming pool. More often than not the swimming pool is empty which is really nice and makes it more enjoyable than having to traipse all the way into Bideford to use the community pool. I have made a conscious effort to go down to the pool at least every other day since I have been home. I really enjoy just vegging in the Sauna, even if it does get a little toastie. I do some exercise though and am now up to 20 lengths. Next week I will push this up to 30 lengths and I really must start using the gym again. The gym is in the old squash court but they still have one court available, I just need to find someone who fancies playing squash with me. I am really pretty crap but I did used to enjoy it and I always got a good run around. I had thought of trying to have a knock around by myself but it wouldn't be much fun.

With my fitness streak I make sure I weigh myself every morning. We have a WII fit which is great as it measures weight and BMI and shows a graph so you can track progress. There is something nice waking up every morning to see that you have lost a little more weight. Anyway the programme has a way of recording activities undertaken. So I have started recording the time I do exercise for. The list of activities also includes housework and cooking as exercise which is great as it gives me an excuse to watch 'Good Food Channel' on sky. I really like cooking and trying new recipes. I made some wonderful ginger cup cakes recently. Beth and I would share one in the morning as I sat down to read my book with a cup of coffee. She would get so excited when I came in with the cake and coffee just after I had hoovered. She would the eat half the cake and get crumbs everywhere. Anyway as the supply of ginger cup cakes dwindled I looked on the good food website and found a recipe from James Martin for a 'Chocolate Cola Cake'. Sounds weird doesn't it, using coca cola in a chocolate cake, but I tell you it tastes really good. It is a real strain limiting myself to a small slice per day but I must loose weight. Anyway I have probably wittered on enough today so until next time....

Time Flies

I really can't believe that I have been home nearly three weeks. It really is good to be home although I feel I haven't stopped. Beths new bedroom is coming on and looking very pink. I should hopefully have it finished very soon. The garden is still a jungle although I have cleared about a quarter of the devon bank. I will get on top of it one day.

Well my diet is going well I have lost 9lbs in three weeks and hopefully I will manage to keep up the trend. My aim is to get below 16stone for Christmas.

I have been out for some really nice walks with the doggies. Beth enjoys them just as much as me as she just giggles the whole time. I just wish she wouldn't smile and wave at all the old grannies when we are shopping as it makes it take longer as they all want to stop and say hello.

My aim for next week is to complete Beths room and to go for at least one bike ride.
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Time Flies

I can't believe that I have been home for a week already. Rosie seems such a dim a distant memory, thankfully. The last week has been hectic, I arrived home just in time for the little ones birthday and then had a couple of frantic days trying to get the house ready for her party at the weekend. We had planned on doing a BBQ but the weather wasn't up to it so we had a buffet instead. It was great to see everyone. I just hope that everyone had a nice time as I know Beth enjoyed herself.

It is great to be home spending time with Debbie and Beth as I do miss them when I am away and the little one changes so much. I took her to church Sunday Morning and left Debbie home asleep as she hasn't been sleeping well. Beth was reasonably well behaved. She giggled during the hymns, was quiet during the prayers and was unfortunately quite talkative during the sermon. I am pleased we went though as it was peaceful. We are going again this Sunday. It is a later service so it will be Church then the Green Dragon then home so she will have a little mini adventure around Langtree. Then the following Sunday I will have to go to the dreaded Car Boot but hopefully I will manage to sell some more frames.

Things have been busy since I have been home though. I am just pleased that I got so much done today. I cleared a little bit of the Devon Bank. Although why does it only take an hour or so to remove the hedges and yet so long to try and get rid of the cuttings. Well after my little spell of gardening I turned my attention to the jungle room. I have now managed to strip most of the wallpaper off, the remainder I should crack tomorrow and I have revealed the painted jungle below. Thankfully most of the plaster seems reasonable so it shouldn't take me to long to prepare the walls and paint them. I just hope the little one likes her new room when it is finished.

The Sun is Shining

I am now back home, I arrived back on Tuesday night just in time for the little one's first birthday on Wednesday. I really can't believe that she is one already. Where has the last year gone. She is still full of smiles which is wonderful and she is so well behaved, well 99% of the time anyway. I can't believe how lucky were are. I took here with me to Church this morning and she kept smiling at everyone. I just have to teach her that she can be noisy when we sing and that she has to be quiet during the sermon, not the other way around. It is nice to be home though as I am able to read her a bedtime story every night. I know she is a bit young for it but we are on the last chapter of 'The Lion the Witch and The Wardrobe'. When we have finished it I think I will start the Bed Time Stories book.
I will be sitting down later and drafting a job list for next few weeks. There is quite a bit I want to get done, I just hope I find the time to do it all. At least I am just about unpacked now so I can take stock today and start cracking on tomorrow.

Since I have been home I have been thinking about my faith and how week it is at the moment. There are always so many distractions in life and I sometimes find it hard to focus on what is important. I know the basics and I try to lead a good life but we all get distracted at times. I really enjoy reading but find it harder and harder to actually sit down and read the bible, it may be the version I have but I think it is just me being distracted once again. I used to pray every day but now I do it very rarely. I think I need to try and refocus on my faith and I am considering going on an alpha course as I think that would help me find the path again.

Final Day

The day has finally arrived, when my relief joins and not a moment to soon.  I won’t be sorry to see the back of Rosie as it hasn’t been a great trip and will be good to get home.  I am a little nervous about going home as I know I won’t be allowed to relax as there is so much to do around the house and garden as well as looking after Debbie and the little one.  I am a little worried about finances as well.  I had hoped to try and save money this trip but everytime I had managed to save a little bit we had expenses come up at home.  I had a couple of bonuses during the trip but they seem to have all disappeared, even the money I had back from spectre went out of my account as soon as it went in.  I had hoped that the three of us would be able to have a couple of nights away when I got home but it is not going to happen.  It seems most of my Sunday’s are going to be taken up by going to car boot sales again this leave and I hate car boot sales.  If it gives us a bit more money then all the better.

 

Well I fly home tomorrow evening so hopefully I will be home for about 2130, it will be nice to be home but I don’t know how much sleep I will get because no doubt little one will be up in the middle of the night.  At least I will be home for her first birthday.  She will be too young to understand but I am sure she will have a nice day.  Then on Saturday Debbie has invited lots of people around to celebrate little ones first Birthday.  We are looking at a BBQ although with the way the weather is and the number of people I am not to sure.  If we do, do a BBQ we will keep things relatively simple I think. In some ways though I think for the number of people coming, it would be easier to do a buffet.

 

 

 

The Final Countdown

I am now into the final count down.  It is my final weekend onboard and my relief joins the day after tomorrow.  Over the past few days I have been accused of wishing my life away as I have been counting down the days.  To some extent this is true; whatever we do we always seem to be wishing our lives away as we are constantly looking to the future.  We look ahead and say tomorrow, next week, next month I will be doing such and such.  Is this a bad thing, well I think it is and it isn’t.  There is nothing wrong with looking ahead and looking forward to things.  However if you look ahead and plan things that never happen, then it is bad as life really does get wasted. We do live in a wasteful society though and there are so many distractions around us that help us waste our lives away.

 

I think everyone has hopes and dreams and a few have ambition.  Few however realise all their dreams within a lifetime and many dreams just turn out to be pipe dreams.  This coming leave I am determined to grab the bull by it’s horns and try to make progress to realising some of my dreams.  I know I will only achieve a small amount of what I would like to achieve due to time constraints but if I focus I hope to achieve something this leave as many of my previous leaves have been wasted.

 

Well home Tuesday and then little one’s first birthday on Wednesday.  I really can’t believe that she is almost a year old, where has the time gone.  I do sometimes worry about what sort of world she will grow up in.  What sort of future will she have?  Energy costs are soaring, food costs are going to follow suit.  At present there is a baby boom which means that competition for jobs when she is older will be even greater and then there are all the other worries such as climate change and terrorism.  Maybe it is best not to think to hard about these things as one will only get depressed.  However I don’t believe we can ignore them, we need to prepare for them.

 

Anyway three days left and counting, I will soon be home and can turn my back on what has been a depressing and tedious trip.  The last five and a half months have gone by far too slowly, but hopefully my leave won’t speed by.

 

 

Final Week

The last couple of days have been quite busy but at least they have made the time go quickly.  After sailing Monday we headed up the Minches past my Benbecula, where Aunty Rosemary lives and anchored of Stornoway.  On route we conducted a paper exercise to test out the emergency response organisation.  Although it was a paper exercise it was useful to write all the signals and see how the system works. 

 

We then moved into the MCA and SALMO exercise, this was a little frustrating as we all got into position nice and early.  However the Emergency Towing Vessel was two hours late.  Parts of the exercise were interesting, especially when they called out the MCA helo to pass a tow line.

 

During the exercise I took a couple of photos on my phone, and then uploaded them straight to the internet.  I am still amazed by the technology that is now available.  I wonder what the future will bring.

 

Well I am now into my final week onboard, well final six days as I go home on Tuesday.  I really can’t wait to get on leave as after 5 ½  months, three Captains (or 4 changes of command), three XO’s and two Ships, I am absolutely exhausted.  I would like to think that when I get home I will be able to have a break but I know it’s not going to happen as I have my work cut out.  It should be more relaxed though and I am really looking forward to seeing Debbie and the little one.  I know Debbie is looking forward to me getting home as she is struggling at the moment and is finding it harder to get around.  I just hope the little one starts to sleep better because at the moment it seems she is up during the night and I could really do with one or two undisturbed nights sleep as I can’t remember the last time I didn’t wake up two or three times during the night.

 

I hope to have the opportunity to get a night or so wild camping whilst on leave but the time is rapidly running out as the weather will be turning.  I have so much to do at home with trying to get on top of the garden.  I also have quite a bit of decorating to do, I will be able to do that in little bits and I am actually looking forward to do physical work rather than mental work for a bit.  Hopefully I will be able to start loosing weight again when I get home.

 

 

The Lonely Sea And The Sky

Almost into the final week onboard and I am now really looking forward to getting off and going home on leave.  I spoke to Debbie earlier and I think I have got things timed almost right as her hips are now really giving her a lot of gip and she is finding it hard to look after the little one.  We were expecting it as she had SPD with Elizabeth so we knew it was more than likely that she would have it again.  It has been quite difficult to try and juggle things as if I got off too early I would go back shortly after the birth which would have been hard for Debbie.  On the other hand if I stayed on here to long Debbie would have found it very hard to cope by herself as the SPD causes her great pain and makes it hard to walk.  This didn’t matter so much last time as she could move in with her folks, however it is much harder this time as she little Beth to look after.

 

I have had my report, well sort of anyway.  The XO didn’t even have the courtesy to give me a closing interview.  He basically threw the report at me at 1815 last night and said if I wanted to discuss it I could go and see him.  This is not the way a formal reporting procedure should be conducted.  On top of this he couldn’t even be bothered to put comments in all the boxes.  What really surprised me was that all he could muster to write in my overall performance was ‘Transferred to Mounts Bay for six week period’.  This does not reflect my performance in any way.  Once again though I feel it demonstrates that an 18 can reflect as much about the person writing it as the person being reported on.  It was markedly obvious as well, seeing other reports, that the XO had favourites after he give a junior third mate two box 1’s (based on the number of SoPs and ROSTEMs he compiled for the XO).  There is no doubt that the third mate in question performed well and deserved at least a box 2 but he certainly needs more experience on the bridge before he would be suitable for promotion to second off.  However moaning aside the CO wrote a number of complimentary remarks about my performance which demonstrated that he had actually taken some time over it.  The CO also agreed with my comment that due to the fragmented reporting period and the fact that the reporting period was actually only on 50 percent of my appointment it could not give a true reflection of my abilities.

 

Well at least it is another trip almost over and it has been a very depressing trip as there has been little to look forward to.  SARC and OST for the first part of the trip and then basically glued alongside for the remainder of the trip.  I long for another decent trip where I get more sea time than time in Port, I can’t see it happening for a few years though with all the in-year cost savings that the MoD is trying to make, there is just no money for the ship’s to go to sea with anymore, it is a great shame as I came to sea to go to sea and not sit along side.  The feeling of being out in mid ocean, miles from land is indescribable.  The sights I have seen and the starlit nights are magical and I do hark back to John Masefield’s ‘Sea Fever’.

 

‘I must go down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,

And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.’

 

Two Weeks To go

I am now back on the ship that I started my trip on and I only have two weeks left before I go on leave.  I can not believe how much the dynamic of the ship has changed in the six weeks that I have been away.  I really can’t wait to pay off and escape the cloud of depression that is lingering over the ship.  I don’t think it helps that after six weeks away it feels like I am on a different ship and therefore I have a sort of joining blues mixed up with the feeling of a run down period.

 

I know things will be busy when I get home as Debbie will be off here feet as the SPD kicks in but I am determined to crack a few jobs at home.  The two main priorities being to redecorate the Jungle room and to lay more loft boards.  However I still have the aspiration to start making the wall between the garage and the house, incorporating a brick BBQ.  The bit I am really not looking forward to is digging the foundations as I think that will be really back breaking work. 

 

It is going to be good to get home eventually and hopefully I should get home for the little ones first birthday as that is the day I am expecting to pay off.  I have bought her some nice bath toys as she does enjoy her baths.

 

 

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I hope this works
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31 July

Well we have now arrived back in port after a week at sea and it is not long until I change ships again.

Debbie and the little one are coming down for the weekend whilst we do the handover which will be nice as it is a few weeks since I have seen them. I really hope that the little one sleeps through the night though as I have had a lot of long days this week and I need a bit of sleep.

I am just hoping she recognises me as I took the plunge and shaved my beard off. Well I thought it would please Debbie as I know she doesn’t like the beard.

I am just hoping that my handover goes OK, I always worry about handovers as I hate to leave things in the air. I am sure Dale will be fine though as the programme is not that demanding.

Another Sunday onboard, but not many more until I escape. I did manage to avoid the usual Sunday afternoon of too many pints ending in a wasted afternoon. I finally did something that I have been promising to do for a long time; I walked up to Portland Castle and had a look around. Whenever I go to these places I always find it amazing how, people all those years ago, achieved so much and how the buildings have lasted. I can think of very few buildings that are built today lasting 500 years. Admittedly it was a very different era but at least we have the opportunity of looking through the window of a past era.

After walking around the castle I had a wonder around the gardens, they were small but there was a very peaceful area under a small clump of trees. It was wonderful hearing the wind rustling through the trees once again. I don’t know why but I really miss the sounds of the trees when I am onboard. Hopefully one day I will manage to save enough money to buy a small wood.

It is strange how sounds can be relaxing, I am not sure what I find more relaxing, the sound of the trees or the sound of waves crashing on the beach. Although I see the majesty of the sea every day I am at sea, I very rarely here the music of the sea, except when I am home walking down the beach at Westward Ho!

Another Week Alongside

It has been another tedious week. Although we spent two days doing index berthing at the beginning of the week we have been strapped alongside for the rest of the time. It has been very hard to motivate oneself, especially as I only have a week left before I transfer back to Rosie. Once there I will have less than a month left until I pay off and start my leave.

Hopefully I will manage to get things achieved this leave, not only house work and DIY but also a few things that I want to do. I really want to have a couple of nights out on the moors before the weather turns and I would like to get the canoe out for a paddle. This is not going to be easy as I will have Debbie and the little one to look after and then in November number two arrives. It is going to be nice to get to spend some time with Debbie and the little one. Hopefully we will find the money to have a little break in September as Debbie really needs a break. I know she finds it hard being at home by herself and looking after the little one, hopefully when number two arrives things will get easier.

I have applied for a shore posting, if I get it it will be good as I will have a bit of stability for a couple of years. However I think I will miss the long leaves if I do get the posting.

Well another quite weekend to get through and then a horrible week next week with lots of night flying. Roll on the end of August.

FOUR MONTHS IN

It has now been over a month since I have last written on my blog, yes I have been very slack, but whilst stuck alongside inspiration has been sadly lacking. I have now passed the four-month mark and usually I would be heading home on leave. However with sprog two due to arrive in November I have had to ask for an extension to my appointment so I am here until the end of August.

Since I last wrote there has been a little change of scenery as I was transferred from my previous ship onto one of the Bay boats as they were short of a Nav/Ops. All my gear is still back there but hopefully I should return in about a fortnight after having done 6 weeks on here.

We have been tied up alongside for most of the period, which has been dull however on the plus side I had a trip across to Holland so I did escape UK waters very briefly. The other plus was that as we were alongside Debbie and Elizabeth came down to stay onboard for the week. It was really good to see them both and to see how much Beth has changed. She can now sit up by herself which can be a little freaky at silly O’clock in the morning when you get up and there she is in her travel cot sitting bolt up right like a scene from the exorcist. She is certainly getting more mobile so I don’t think it will be long before she starts walking. Then all we need to do is dissuade here from going out the dog door.

I also managed to get home for a 72, the first one I have taken for years. It was good to get home but far to short. There are so many jobs and things that I want to do, I just don’t know where I will find the time. I did have another look out the back and I have now decided where I will build the wall between the garage and the house, delineating the parking area from the garden. Once this is done I will be able to focus on getting the back kiddie proof before next summer hopefully.
Well I must make more of an effort to update this blog regularly as it is a good way to put my thoughts down and is, in some ways, a form of creative output. Even if it is just a load of ramblings.

FAITH

During the week we held the first Christian Fellowship Meeting onboard. Alex did a wonderful job in setting it up and taking the lead. There were only three of us (all members of the NCF) but hopefully over the coming months we may get other members. Alex pays off next week so it will be down to Roger and I to keep the meetings going. I am pleased that we have started them up, as it wasn’t until I went that I realised how far I had drifted away from God and my faith. The meeting did much to bolster my spirits but I still find it hard, if not impossible to pray aloud. I don’t know if this makes me a poor Christian or just a quiet person. One thing that I did find helped was that we each wrote down something that we wanted to pray about and then we passed the sheets around so that we all prayed for each other. I have been praying a lot about Debbie of late, as I know she is finding things very hard. Not only is she in a lot of pain but we are skint this month. I can only afford to put £350 into her account, which by the time everything has come out leaves her with, very little. I had hoped that she would be all right this month as she had £650 last month but it is not the case. Hopefully things will go alright next month as I should get some back pay but there will be at least £200 come out of my pay for ships cash recovery. Anyway I am getting off the subject somewhat. The thing I really learned was that I need to make sure I pray, as if I can learn to put my faith in God I know he will look after us. We may go through testing times but he will be by our sides if only we have faith.

I have also been thinking about whether I should try and find a livelier church when I am at home next. I know I should support the church in my village but I find the services dry and there are only 5 or 6 people that go every week.

Well other than that the week has been reasonably quiet onboard; this has allowed me to finally get on top of my work and start looking ahead a wee bit. I have also had the opportunity to start reading a bit more. I finally finished ‘Old Ironsides’ (The military biography of Oliver Cromwell) which I thoroughly enjoyed. I have decided to take a break from the factual books and am now reading ‘Under Enemy Colours’. It is so nice reading a novel again and so far it has been very good. You can almost smell the sea air as the author describes sailing from Plymouth. Within the book there are also some interesting reflections on the social history of the time with comments about Thomas Pain and the leaflets he distributed. I will have to go back to my ‘History of Britain’ (book by Schama) to revisit that period in history.
I think this coming week will be reasonably quiet, I am going to make a real effort to get down the gym more to help blow away the cobwebs.

QUIET WEEKEND ONBOARD

We are now at the end of our first week alongside in Scotland and unusually for Scotland the weather has been wonderful. The last few days have all been in the 20's which has been great. Friday was really pleasant as the bridge team decided to have a run ashore, we went into Limekilns for a couple of beers and from there into Dunfermlin. Dunfirmlin is a very pleasant town with plenty of variety and some imposing buildings. I had a great afternoon with everyone and managed to let my hair down for once. The only problem was, as usual I was worrying about money and how much I would have for the month. I hate going ashore and having to watch the money. Everyone goes into rounds and I have to stay dutch. The guys were good though they did buy me the odd beer even though they knew I couldn't buy one back. All in all with the meal and a few drinks I think I spent about £30. I know it doesn't sound alot but when I was onboard yesterday I worked out what I had in the bank and what I had to come out in the way of bills etc and basically I have about £10 more coming out than I have in this month. Well looks like I will have to stay onboard this month. It's not that bad though as I can go down the Gym, the bar has a WII and I have a few books that I want to read. Anyway I will be 1 in 3 duties so that helps. I don't think July will be any better, I just hope I have £30 or so that I can find so I can go up the road if we get to France.

Although I was stuck onboard yesterday I did have a pleasent day, one of the chaps has an XBOX so we had a bit of a play on that and I managed to stay off the alcohol so for once I slept really well. I haven't done so well today as I fell off the wagon for the normal Sunday Pub Lunch onboard but hey ho.

Three months to go and I will be home again, I am looking forward to getting home as I do worry about Debbie and the little one. I know it isn't easy for Debbie trying to look after Beth by herself especially when number two is on the way and I am really worried about when the SPD kicks in and how Debbie will cope whilst I am at sea.

LIFE AFTER OST

OST is finally over and has been for 11 days. The second and final see week was reasonably tame compared to the first couple of weeks. For Navigation we received a Satisfactory for our final assessment, which I was pleased about, as the whole team had put in a lot of work. I think it has helped put what happened with SJ behind me.

We escaped from the clutches of FOST on the Thursday and made a fast passage around to Portland. The weekend went too quickly but of note was the Christening of little Elizabeth. It was a wonderful day and she was so well behaved.

The RFA Chaplin Bernard Clarke, who is also a Chaplin to the Queen, conducted the christening. It was a lovely service moving and light hearted. Elizabeth is the first to be christened onboard since Fort Rosalie became Fort Rosalie. We will be getting the bell engraved with her name. The christening was followed by fizzy wine on the Bridge, then down to the bar for a pub lunch. It was nice to see everyone that managed to come down to the ship on he day.

As mentioned the weekend went far too quickly and we were straight into our ISM audit on the Tuesday. This seemed to go quite smoothly which was a relief. Debbie stayed onboard for the week, which was really nice. I know it can’t have been much fun stuck in the cabin all day when I was working. It was nice being able to spend the lunchtimes and evenings with them. We did get ashore for a brief wander on the Wednesday and had some not so nice fish and chips in Weymouth.

Thursday saw Debbie departing to honalee to spend a couple of days with my Mummy before heading back to Devon on Sunday. In the meantime I went to RM Poole for a meeting on Thursday afternoon. After the meeting I headed back to Portland arriving back in time to join the Bridge team and Terry ashore where we had an enjoyable BBQ on Chesil beach near the Cove. It was quite civilised with Venison burgers and Fizzy wine. Needless to say I had a little bit too much to drink and I felt a little shabby on Friday morning when we came to sail from Portland for Scotland.

The passage up over the weekend was really pleasant. The weather was gorgeous and it was lovely just standing out on the bridge wings watching the world go by. As we were ahead of time we spent Sunday anchored of Holy Island.

We are now back alongside for three weeks or so, it will be quite nice having the chance to read my book again at smoko or lunch.

OST WEEK TWO

We have now completed our first sea week at OST, I can't say it was particularly enjoyable but we got to the end of the first week with reasonable reports. It was bloody knackering as I was pulling 18/19 hour days all week trying to keep ahead of the game. Needless to say that come Friday I was a walking zombie. As always at FOST some members of the FOST team were a bit pedantic and didn't give credit where credit was due. Especially on the Thursday when they came up to the bridge and suddenly decided that we could do the mine swept channel. Luckily we had a chart prepared for it so we coped OK.

The weekend has been enjoyable, if, as ever, too short. Friday night I got rather discombobulated in the bar and Saturday Debbie and the little one came down to see me. It was so great to see them both as I do miss them when I am away. Little Beth was as smiley as usual and when we were in the Cider Press the little tyke kept trying to get to my pint.

I found out this week that I have had my extension approved, which is good news as it should help tie things together later in the year. I do worry though as Debbie may get SPD again which will make it very hard for her to cope with the little one. I just hope we have things timed right so that I get home before the SPD really kicks in.

Well today has been the normal Sunday at FOST preparing everything for the coming week. I think this is going to be a very hectic and unpleasant week. At the end of the day it is really only three and a half days of exercises and then it is all over and we can prepare for our ISM audit the following week.

I think the only thing that will get me through this week is looking forward to next weekend and the little ones christening. I really hope all goes smoothly on the day.

THE NIGHT BEFORE SAILING

The week seems to have flown by since I last wrote. MASC took up all of Tuesday with a day of fun and games at sea. It did seem strange though as they ramed everything in to the first few hours after sailing. Then we were left stooging for about three hours whilst debriefs were conducted and we awaited the alloted time for returning to port.

As usual with MASC there were lots of pick up points that were identified by FOST staff. Reports were handed out with an expectation of the points being rectified prior to sailing for the sea week. As always though with FOST we then spent the next three days attending breifs and table tops that allowed us no time to rectify the pickups. Well after a lot of early mornings and very late nights we have managed to crack most things so I just hope all goes well tomorrow when we sail.

It hasn't been all work though as I did manage to get the three oclock boat ashore yesterday for a bit of a wonder around. Debbie has come down with a horrible cold (she hasn't met any Mexicans so I know it isn't swine flu) so she wasn't up to coming down. I really do miss her and the little one when I am away and it isn't helped this trip as I have put in for an extension (which suits us for later in the year) so rather than thinking I am half way through with two months left I am only a third of the way through with about four months left.

I had quite a nice wonder though, I spent about an hour walking around Waterstones looking at all the books. At first I couldn't find anything that gripped my interest but then when I was leaving I saw a biography of Stalin's early years which I thought could be interesting so I came away with a book in the end. No doubt it will get me in trouble though as I have a pile of about 20 books on my 'to read' pile at home and no bookshelf space left anywhere. I think next time I am home I will have a look around and see if I can find anywhere to build a bookshelf. Well after the bookshop I met up with the rest of the bridge team and we had an impromptu BBQ on the Hoe over looking the sound which was very pleasant other than the view of the ship in the background.

Well the OST proper starts tomorrow as we sail for our first sea week. We have all worked hard getting things ready but I know they will always find something to pick us up for, which can be demoralising. You can't fight the white as they say, so we will just grin and bear it for the next few weeks.

Hopefully I will get to see Debbie next weekend, I know I am going to have lots of work to do but hopefully I will be able to keep my head above water enough to take a few hours off Saturday afternoon.

OST Begins

Well the day has finally come when we start the workup, I know whatever we do the staff will pickup us for things. We have to stay cheerful and play the game though.

I had a major scare last week after a call from Debbie but the ship were really good and got me ashore so that I could get home. Thankfully the scan went OK and everything seems fine. I just wish I could be home to give Debbie more support as it can not be easy for her looking after the little one by herself. I had a taste of it when Beth was two weeks old and Debbie went away for a week at sea but I know it can't be easy as I am away for months.

We had our first day of OST today with Deck Officer aviation and ROR exams. We all passed the aviation exam and are just awaiting the results for the ROR exam so fingers crossed.

We sail for the MASC (material and safety check) so it is going to be a busy day but the rest of the week shouldn't be too bad as it is all harbour serials. However next week is going to be a very different story. Mind you at the end of the day we only have two sea weeks and then things should calm down a bit. There is light at the end of the tunnel though as we are planning to get Elizabeth christened onboard after OST when we are alongside in Portland which will hopefully go smoothly.

Anyway I am not sure when I will next get to write my blog but I really should try to write more often.

Thursday 16th April 09

Things as usual have been busy this end, however the time is going by and I have now done a month onboard. Preps for OST have gone well with the team working hard last week getting the charts etc ready. We are all set to go now although next weeks shake down is likely to be very busy.

Easter was fun, Debbie and the little one came down to spend some time with me on the ship. Elizabeth was well behaved even when I dragged her up to the bridge to work with me in the mornings so Debbie could sleep. She was quite happy sitting on the chart table giggling and playing with her toys whilst I cracked on with my work. Thankfully she is not at the crayon stage yet so she didn't draw all over the charts.

It was really good to see the two of them and I am missing them again so much, only a month to go until the christening. I really hope that it turns out to be an enjoyable day for everyone and it is something to look forward to as we go through OST.

Well the XO has now changed and the new Old Man joins tomorrow so I think it will be all change on here. The outgoing Old Man has been a real breath of Fresh Air after the likes of SJ, I just hope the new one is as easy to work for, only time will tell I suppose.

ANOTHER WEEK GONE

We arrived in port yesterday morning after a hectic week with FOST. We got assessed as safe which was nice with 90% of serials passed as safe. No time to rest though as we sail again Tuesday morning to conduct ranging for 24 hours before returning alongside. The first set shouldn't be too taxing as we sail along in a straight line. However the second lot should be interesting to say the least as the range that we are using is only about 5 cables off the coast and we will be going up and down it all night.



The weekend hasn't been to bad though, I have managed to get a bit of work done both afternoons whilst everyone was a shore. I have also had a couple of walks which have been rather pleasant. The weather has been glorious and so I have managed to sit out side the cove and listen to the waves smashing up against the beach.


Well another week is starting and as usual there is far to much work to do. I am sure it will all get done, I just wish there was some enjoyment left in it all.

At least next weekend is Easter weekend and Debbie is coming down to the ship for the weekend. I am really looking forward to seeing her and the little one. I had just better get ready for all the nappy changing.

READY FOR SEA

SARC 2 is now complete (well almost, they are just completing the Harbour fire exercise) and we sail for SARC 3 tomorrow morning. It is going to be a long day for all onboard but hopefully all will go smoothly.

It always strikes me with FOST the days are always so crammed you never have time to do your normal jobs. It is just lucky that I quite like listening to radio 2 in the small hours as I manage to get a lot of work done between 0500 and 0800 which just about allows me to keep my head above water.

I am a little nervous about the navigation bits tomorrow as I am working off someone else's plans with my own note book. Hopefully after tomorrow Paul will resume with the Navs duties and allow me to focus on the Ops side as there is so much to do to ensure everything runs smoothly over the coming months.

Once we have SARC complete I will just have to make sure we don't loose the momentum as there will not be much time to get the preps finished off for OST. We just need clear guidance as to who will be doing the Navigation.

I suppose in six weeks this will all be over and we can continue with our normal job as the Glen guard ship. Saying that the weather should hopefully be alright by the time we get there.

SARC DAY ONE

Well things aren't getting any better on here. Today we started our SARC (Safety and Readiness Check) down in Plymouth. After the staff navigator came on it has been decided that I am to conduct the pilotage out and pilotex on Thursday when we sail. Although the charts are all drawn up I still need to find time to tweak them slightly and draw up my notebook. Normally this would be fine but during SARC there is no time during the working day due to exercises and briefs. On top of this I have all my Ops stuff to do. Anyway after a twelve hour day today I have decided to say sod it and have a few cans of cider. Up at 0500 tomorrow to try and get the work cracked and hopefully get ahead of the game. Maybe it is time to start looking seriously for another job but I just can't afford to take a pay cut. There are bits of the RFA I enjoy but is all the crap really worth it. I am only 45 miles from home and I can't even get home to see Debbie and Elizabeth.



I think I need to have a long hard think about what I want to do over the next few weeks. I have applied for yet another shore post with the RFA and I think if I could get that I would be happy as I just need a break from the NAV/OPS role after eight years of doing the same thing. In that time I have done two trips as purely Ops and they have probably been the most enjoyable of my whole career. However now just trying t get a singleton Ops posting seems impossible.



If I do go commercial eventually I think I will try and join the RNR as I am sure 18 years in the RFA will count for something. I have lots of valuable experience but at the moment I feel under appreciated.

WORK AND APPLE JUICE

It has been a couple of days since I last wrote my blog. Little has happened other than lots of work. I can't understand why I get up at 0600 and work through to 1900 when everyone else seems to knock of early. Am I crap at my job or just conscientious, I really wish I knew. There just seems to be a never ending pile of work and now according to the old man I have functional authority of Navigation on top of everything else as the Navs on here is not FNO qualified. I almost rang Clyde marine this morning after he told me but I didn't. Another year or so and I get the long service medal. If I could only get a shore appointment for a couple of years I could recharge my batteries.

I suppose I shouldn't moan, at least I have a secure job with a good pension and a loving family. There is just so much I wish we could do but we just haven't the money. I would love to buy some land and build an eco friendly house. Although it would have to have opening windows as I believe you can never get enough fresh air. I would love to be able to buy a wood, well I like trees, probably because I was a tree in a school play thirty years ago. I want to be able to send little Elizabeth to private school so she can have the best start in life as the state school system is unreliable. Finally I want to buy another landrover, I should never have sold Flakey but I think a Disco would be nice if I could ever afford it.

Anyway enough of my dreams, it has been a long day but at least we have apple juice onboard. I have been good the last few nights and not had any but I have fallen off the wagon tonight. I think I will drink up though and go and watch a bit of TV as I will be up early tomorrow.

BELIEF

We have now arrived at our next port after a short two day voyage. Other than a foggy start to the voyage it was pleasant weather. There was little wind so the sea was calm and peaceful. I always find there is something almost mystical about the sea and I find it relaxing.

After arrival Debbie and Elizabeth came down to sea me. It was Elizabeth's first time on a ship and as always she was full of smiles. She kept giggling as well which was really nice. I do find it hard adjusting to being back at sea as I really miss Debbie and Beth. We are hoping to get the little one christened onboard in May once the ship has done OST. Hopefully the programme won't change to much as it would be really nice to have Beth christened on a ship that both Debbie and I have served on.

Well I have been feeling a bit low today but I now think that someone is watching over me. Of late I have felt there is no light at the end of the tunnel and I have felt spiritually drained. However earlier today the Second mate approached me and asked if I was in the NCF (Naval Christian Fellowship). We then started talking and it looks as if he is going to try and organise an Alpha course onboard. Hopefully it will all work out and there will be some interest onboard. It has made me think that it was him upstairs trying to tell me not to loose hope even though the past few years have been hard.

Something I heard today also made me think. I was listening to a 'Nightmare before Christmas' and part of the lyrics were "Just because I can't see it, doesn't mean I can't believe it." I really think I have been told today, don't give up I am watching. I just really hope it is a sign that things will get better this year. My beliefs have taken a little leap of hope today I just need to have some faith.

JOINING BLUES

Well I am now back at sea, I have joined an old ship but they have recently changed the whole interior. The old bar that looked like the front room of a country pub has been replaced by a bar that wouldn't look out of place in an airport lounge. To be fair they have done a resonable job on the cabins and have thankfully avoided metal furniture infavour of wood.

The first few days onboard are always hard, this time espeacially so as I am really missing Debbie and our little Elizabeth. It doesn't help that the programme this trip will be horrible with FOST onboard for about half of it. As for my role onboard, well thankfully I am Ops but due to the usual screw ups I am sort of covering the Navigator as well. I have an N2 who will do all the navigation but I still have the responsibility for it. As for my handover it was okay but there are lots of things that I will be changing to make things run better.

I think the only plus side for this trip is that I will be around the UK coast, so it should give me the chance to see my two ladies. If I am lucky I may even get a 72 so that I spend time with Debbie and Elizabeth, and mybe even mow the grass and take the little boy for a walk. I may even manage to get a pint of rattler down the Green Dragon.

BREAD

I find that it is very hard to relax, I don't know if this is just the way I am or if it is the world we live in. There are so many distractions around us in our everyday lives and so many things to worry about. So little of life is simple and straight forward, and I think this gets worse as one gets older. What with bills and mortgages to worry about. More importantly what sort of future world is our little girl going to grow up in.

With all this going through my head it is very hard to sit down and just feel mellow, there is always something playing on my mind. So how can one relax, well I love reading and when I do manage to read I can get really immersed in a book and forget about the outside world for a few minutes. The only problem with this, is that I find it very hard to sit down and read at home as I am always getting distracted and quite often I seem to dose of when I do read. I don't think it helps by what I choose to read as I try to expand my mind with my choice of books now, unlike a few years ago when I was a regular visitor to Ankmorpork. Mind you Terry Pratchet did, at times, come out with some very profound thoughts on life in general.

Well what has all this to do with bread, it is simple really, baking bread is relaxing. It is not just the wonderful smell of the yeast starting to work or that wonderful aroma of freshly baked bread. It is just the whole process demands patience. To make really good bread you need one of life's most treasured ingredients, time. Unless you are willing to put this into the process the bread will be no good. Plenty of time is needed not only for the dough to rise but in the needing process. I think it is this part of the whole process that I enjoy the most and when I find it easiest to relax.

SPRING

It seems spring has finally arrived, it is just amazing how much the weather has changed over the last couple of weeks. Not so long ago we were under 8 inches of snow and the whole country seemed to come to a standstill for a week. Now the sun is shining, the snowdrops are in flower and the weather is milder. It makes going for walks so much more enjoyable.

We have a hill near our house with a tiny country lane and I tend to take the boy down there for walks, if we don't want to go to the Tarka Trail. I have been down there in all types of weather but I think this time of year is one of my favourites as it is not too warm, all the plants are starting to get back there greenery after the winter months and the birds are in full song. There is also a nice aroma which just helps make everything nice and peaceful.

With the milder weather I have also managed to get out for more bike rides. I have found a nice route where the first half is up a gentle incline so that when I turn round the way back is all gently down hill which means I can get up a real turn of speed which is great fun.

Well only a couple of weeks until I return to sea, I will miss the rest of the spring but at least I will be due off around August so I should catch the last of the summer and the beginning of Autumn. I hope we have good weather this year as I really want to go wild camping out on Dartmoor. I don't know why I want to do this I just think it will be going back to the routes of camping and it should be more peaceful than a camp site. Saying that though hopefully all of us might have a night or so at a camp site as I think little Beth might enjoy it.

Innocence

Yesterday as I sat there with little Elizabeth it struck me that she has no worries or understanding of the world. She has not seen the evil of this world or the goodness that surrounds us if we only care to look. Her smile brings sunshine to our world but I do wonder what sort of future world she will grow up in.

I look around and I wonder what the future will hold, will the human race survive or will we inevitably self destruct. As our resources dwindle will we be able to create other forms of renewable energy or will individual nations use military force to secure the dwindling supplies. Somehow I have a feeling that Elizabeth will not grow up in a peaceful world. There is however always hope and so maybe harmony will prevail.

Emotion

Emotion has never been my strong point. I find it easier to bury my feelings inside rather than show how I feel. I think this is due to my schooling where I learnt to survive by hiding my feelings. The only problem with this is that they always surface some time later and they are always worse than if I had just let them out in the first place.

The reason I mention this about emotions is that my wife has just had a miscarriage. It happened during the week I was due back to sea. After experiancing pains on Tuesday we saw the doctor and they arranged for a scan on the Wednesday. Unfortunately we could not get a morning appointment so it was decided that I should go ahead and catch the morning train to Scotland to join a ship bound for the Med, whilst Debbie went for the appointment in the afternoon. We were really hoping that all would be fine but unfortunately this was not the case. Both the ship and my appointer were really understanding and they let me turn around just before Carlisle so that I could come back home to support Debbie. Well we had to go for more tests on Friday and these confirmed that Debbie had miscarried.

It all seems so surreal at the moment, I just find it hard to understand what has happened. In some ways I feel no emotion at all as I have tried to keep busy and pretend that it hasn't happened. As soon as I sit down or stop doing things though, the reality hits home and I just think why is this happening. Everything seems to go wrong and every time I think I see a glimmer of hope in the tunnel of life someone breaks the bulb and kicks me in the gut.

I think the hardiest thing though is giving the right kind of support to my wife. As a man I find it very hard to understand the emotional turmoil she is going through and at times I feel absolutely powerless to help. I can be there to give her big cuddles and take the strain away by doing the housework and looking after Beth but what else can I do. I can listen but can give very few words to ease the pain. I really wish there was more I could do.

I suppose we have just got to try and put this behind us and hope for a better future. At least we have one beautiful little girl already. She really is a wonderful little ankle biter and she is always smiling, with a smile that brings sunshine into our world.

Snowed In

I only have another few days at home before I have to go back to sea to earn my keep. I am not looking forward to it but at least I have had a few extra days at home because of the weather. I was supposed to have been in Plymouth all week on a course. As it is only 45miles I had decided to commute but on my way home Monday night the snow came down heavily so a one hour journey took three hours. By far the worst bit of the journey was the last hour from Holsworthy. On a normal day this would have taken just twenty minutes but the roads were covered in snow and ice and the car was just sliding everywhere. At times the steering wheel had no effect, then of course there were the hills. I have no idea how I managed to get down and then up the Woodford bridge hill without crashing. At least when I got home I got a big hug and a can of cider.

After walking up the end of the road Tuesday morning I decided not to risk the drive again. As the weather got worse that morning I know I made the right choice as I couldn't have faced another journey like the one I had Monday night again.

Being snowed in has been quite pleasant though. The views out the bedroom window have been wonderful with the white fields disappearing into the distance. We made a big snowman as well but he soon fell over. I must say it has been quite amusing watching Brenin run around in eight inches of snow. Even more amusing was this morning when he went sliding around on the ice with all four legs going in different directions.

Well I am going to make the most of these last few days at home with Debbie and Elizabeth as I am going to miss them so much over the next six months. I am going to miss so much.

Two Weeks Of Freedom Remain

As January draws to a close my joining date for Fort Austin fast approaches. I must admit I am not looking forward to going back to sea and leaving Debbie and Elizabeth behind. I can't really complain though as I have been lucky and the company has been good allowing me to do a number of courses so I have seen Beth through the first five months. It doesn't help that I am initially going back as just Navs but hopefully in March/April when the current Ops leaves I will be able to move up to the Ops job as I really don't enjoy the Navigation side anymore. Back in 2006 I had the best trip of my career as Ops on Austin during the Vela deployment so having to go back there as Navs feels like a real step backwards.

I am hoping to extend my appointment through to August as Sprog 2 will hopefully arrive Sept/Oct time and I will need to be around to help support Debbie. I am quiet worried this time around as last time she was on crutches for the last part of the pregnancy and they said that it is more than likely she will be on crutches or in a wheel chair during the final stages again. As long as I am home during this time though it should be fine.

I just hope that when I am away this time that I manage to get access to Facebook and this blog so that I can continue updating it and writing down my thoughts.

21st Jan 09

Over halfway through the week already. It is strange how time flies, over halfway through the course as well. Unfortunately there are still many more lectures to sit through with 'death by PowerPoint' as the main theme. I often wander whether Power Point helps or hinders. It is a powerful tool when used properly but so demoralising when misused. It seems to me that most of the time it is misused. Looking back to the staff course I feel that one of the most useful features of Power Point is the blank slide. Putting up a number of blank slides during a presentation allows the audience to concentrate on what the speaker is saying rather than being distracted by the screen.

This hasn't been a bad course but by it's nature the subject matter has been very dry, I think the only lecture that I really enjoyed over the last week and a half was the lecture on the 'Law of the Sea' and the 'Law of armed conflict'.

Well the last couple of nights I have taken a walk in the evening. It has been quite pleasant walking the mile and a half into Fareham, having a bimble around and then walking back. It gets me out of the confines of Collingwood for a couple of hours and gives me the chance to stretch my legs after being sat in lectures all day. The only thing that I have noticed though is how polluted the air is compared to back home in Devon.

Not long until Friday and then I will be back home again. It has been so nice being able to get home at weekends to see Debbie and Beth, I am going to miss them so much when I go back to sea.

What a Smile

It is amazing how much one little smile can make the world seem a much better place. Little Elizabeth always seems to be smiling which is wonderful as it is contagious and t makes Debbie and I smile. She is so young, she has no worries or concerns and therefore the worries of the world do not affect her. She is certainly a huge ray of sunshine in our lives.

2009 - The year so far.

Well this year started off rather badly. I was full of hope at the end of last year and looking forward to a little apple juice to welcome the new year in. Unfortunately I came down with the Flu on New Years Eve and it took me four or five days to recover. I then had news of my next appointment which is Navs on Fort Austin. I feel that I have taken a step backwards since going on the Bay boat course. I had successful trips with good reports as Operations Officer on both Fort Austin and Fort George in 2006/2007 and now I am back to just Navigating. Hopefully though when the incumbent Ops leaves I may be able to step back up there, we will just have to see.

Hopefully this year will be better than the last few years, I think we are finally getting our finances sorted so hopefully we will be able to start saving and climb out of the current hole. Things will get better when we manage to sell our Suntera points if the thieving Gypsy's ever send us the re-sale pack. I have been asking for it for almost two months and it still hasn't arrived. Anyway that's another story so I won't write about it today.

Currently I am on the MwarC course at the not so wonderful Collingwood. Well at least it means I can get home at the weekends to see Debbie and Elizabeth. I can't believe how much the wee one has changed over the past few months. Most surprisingly of all though is the effect her smile has. Just one little smile brings so much sunshine into our lives, I am looking forward to the coming years and watching her grow up.

Well over the coming year I am going to make a concerted effort to update this Blog regularly. I am not the greatest of writers and I know my spelling and grammar are piss poor, but hopefully they will get better. I just hope I can get access to this when I am on Austin as I find it soothing to write and it may help keep me out of the bar, and more importantly bring me some form of sanity.

Power Point

Why is such a useful briefing tool so misused. It seems that anyone giving a brief feels that by putting on a PP presentation it will suddenly enable their message to be communicated, whereas it usually sends people to sleep.

The New Year

We are now a week into 2009 and I am starting to wonder whether this year will be any better than last. A week ago I really thought things were on the up and that 2009 was finally going to be our year. I think I will have to reserve judgement on that for a few months.

On the plus side 2008 gave us a wonderful daughter. She is so cute even when covered with baby mush, which she tried for the first time yesterday. I don't think she was very keen on it but I am sure she will get used to it. I know I look at the time ahead with a little bit of dread but one thing that will brighten the year will be all the smiles from Beth. When Beth smiles it brings a little ray of sunshine into our lives.

I am not looking forward to the next five or six months as I have to go away again and I am going to really miss Debbie and Beth. I will wish my life away and look forward to the summer when I will be back home again.

I just hope that this is a good year, as we need one good year occasionally.